Late night tears.

Everywhere I look lately I get so sad, my house, my room, my bed, out my window. I don't think I'll ever see them again after I move. And I still think about josh all the time; just his name makes my body stop and cringe in pain sometimes. But it's not him that I miss, it's having a best friend, someone there to fall asleep with, to cry to, to talk to. Every night I go to bed alone and every morning I wake up alone. I'm just really lonely. Today I found some jokes that I know josh would have loved laughing at with me and I realized I have no one to laugh with anymore. I don't have anyone to go to when my family is fighting, I have no one to rely on when something's wrong. I'm moving half way across the world and I'm completely alone. It's supposed to make me stronger but I just feel so weak, I miss not crying myself to sleep. I just miss not having these etched in frownlines from late night tears.